Monday, October 22, 2007

Green Unrest

It's hitting me. Again. This feeling of being overwhelmed. By the mass of information coming at me. Green facts, and remarks on not so greenish facts. It looks that everyone's got things to say, to report, an enterprise they are working on, participating in, a cool article they found, that person else wrote. There is at odds information coming from assorted fronts, about the doomsday coming, or not coming. Organizations are trying to organize, into communities of souls, scattered over the land. Aluminum Gore's got something up his sleeve, but we don't cognize what. Could be more than than greenness and that's it, or more greenness with a political twist. Environmental news are coming every minute on the feed. I am feeling dizzy, anxious, tired, uneasy, worried, torn, unsure, restless, powerless, frustrated, a whole salad of awful feelings. With dark mental images to travel with. I wrote about the Big Monster before. It's there again, engulfing me with its sliminess, and its ugly claws. There is no getting away from it. Maybe if I sit down for a minute, I will calm down down.

A small while ago, I read Matt's station in 21st Century Citizen. He states he is not afraid. I am. I can't stand up so much left to chance. I am one of those people who is insured for everything. There is no coverage against planetary warming. The lone thing that would pacify my fears, is the cognition that we have got grasped the problem, and we cognize what we are doing, and there is some sort of maestro program we are following. How make you acquire a whole planet to move in unison? I necessitate a sense of order. Not the current chaos, with tons of people agitating in many directions, all pretty much trying to make their thing. Here I am writing this blog, also trying to make my thing, just like 100s of one thousands of others. Blog Action Day represented a lame effort at unity. I am still not calmer. Need to still my thoughts, travel with my breath.

Train roaring. Clock ticking. And then soundless house . . . 'Do the work, it will learn you'. The words from my fine art teacher, Saint David Middlebrook, come up to me. Could it be that I am feeling overwhelmed, because I have got been too much in my head, thinking and authorship about solutions, instead of going out in the world, and doing my work as a greenish citizen? I make experience the demand to act, more than than and more. At a minimum, I can make my share and follow Green Guru (that's my husband)'s footsteps. And then, the question. So what? if the remainder of the human race makes not follow, what difference will it make? I maintain going back to that same question. And again the danger of thought too much, of trying to take on the challenge of the world, and imagining solutions? I necessitate a holiday from my thoughts.